Full Moon Fever
From: Coe42@aol.com
Title: Full Moon Fever
Author: Karen
Rating: Pg-Oz
Disclaimer: No Joss's were actually harmed in the making of this fic.
Feedback: Always wanted.
For the MIA. I used as many names as I could remember in one sitting. LOL.
There are 56 of us.
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He never saw it coming. They were always so calm. So laid back as to be
easily ignored and or abused. They didn't shout like B/A lovers. They didn't
whine or pout. They didn't cajole or threaten like the Drusilla fans. They
didn't make jokes like Xander fans or cry like Doyle and Giles fans when
things didn't go their way. They just sat back, played guitars and figured
things would work out. Plus they were naturally laconic.
Anyway the point is, Joss forgot about them. They'd taken on the persona of
their character. And that's what Joss missed. That's the thing he over
looked. That tiny insignificant thing called lycanthropy.
And as these things usually happen without warning so did this when the sun
went down. Joss was in his office putting the finishing touches on death
scenes. He had ten characters in ten death scenes in ten envelopes and he was
going to choose by playing scrabble with a monkey. If the monkey won he got
to pick the envelope and that character was kaplooey. In fact monkeys often
decided the fate of major characters like Faith and Cordelia. Joss liked
things that way: Simian.
Everyone would have been cool with the whole monkey thing except Joss had
killed Oz in each and every envelope. He was cheating the monkey. The only
thing being decided tonight was the method. Would Tara kill him? Would Oz
kill Tara and be killed by Willow who would tearfully pull the trigger? Would
he die saving Xander? Would he die with a fox? Would he die in a box? Joss
grinned an evil grin as the game was opened and it was time to begin.-Sorry.
Went Suez for a minute.
Then as I said: The sun went down.
In the darkest recesses of the OzMIA: Oz Missing In Action, Ozmiates were
hanging out with guitars and thinking cool thoughts about things like water,
ice, trees, E flat diminish ninth and other chords you need six fingers to
play when the moon began to rise. All fifty-six of them let out a little
surprised, "Huh." As they all doubled over in pain. Karen the leader of the
OzMIA dropped her box of animal crackers as fur coated her hands. "Whoo
hooo!" She exclaimed as Superpixie's sanguine expression turned very, very
evil.
"What's roar happening?" Madame X asked as her cool nails elongated and her
teeth became fangs. Emilie tore off her shoes and started laughing. Karen
doubled up again and laughed with her. "We've become too close to Oz. We've
read too many fics. Thought too many Ozish thoughts. Be proud! We've become
psychotically loyal to the point where the full moon actually effects us.
Transmogrifies us."
Peri glared at them with glowing animal eyes. "English." She growled.
Becca let out a howl as Xander H translated. "We're wolfies!"
Colin and Shari were already complete wolfies as Rich started changing. Sam
stared at her best friend, "What the hell are we going to do now?"
Before Karen could answer, Superpixe growled, "We're going to get Joss and
kick his ass!"
Jaime and Mana slammed into the doors and they exploded outward like a pack
of hungry wolfies. The night was filled with the raucous barking as Pixie and
Karen led them on a merry chase to Joss's house.
Meanwhile at Joss's:
"That is so not a word." Joss told the monkey. The monkey pulled out a
dictionary...
Laure's senses were the best so she was the one who howled Joss's position to
the others. Ash growled and the pack moved as one smashing into the windows.
Laura landed right smack in the center of the scrabble board. Karen was right
behind her and Pixie was yipping darkly about Oz mistreatment, too bad Joss
didn't understand wolfy.
Joss screamed like a girl and tried to get away. But it was too late for
that. He was pinned in by Mana and Emilie while Sam and Peri blocked his
escape route. Karen tore open the envelopes with her paws. Scanning them she
growled darkly and passed them to Laure. She concurred and all the wolves
began to howl.
Joss wet himself he was so scared. Then as one the pack of fifty-six
Ozwolfies leapt on Joss and ripped him into teeny tiny pieces. They left the
monkey alone. They like monkeys.
In the morning people covered themselves with curtains, scraps of paper and
apolostry that had been shredded, while still others stood where beams and
furniture blocked things as Karen and Pixie penned a new fate for Oz.
"I don't think this is realistic girls." Danielle told them as Xander H.
laughed. "I mean he gets Willow, pisses on Tara and then gets elected mayor?"
Superpixie grinned. "Then gets naked."
Karen smiled a toothy grin. "What? I like it? And so does the monkey." The
monkey nodded.
Then they all laughed.
The End.
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